he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
