Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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