ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
