I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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