I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
