Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
