i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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