sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
