Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
