She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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