Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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