You're so nebulous sometimes
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
