I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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