So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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