if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
