Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
