The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize