Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
