Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize