At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Come on in and take your pants off
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