I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
that's an acceptable place to lick
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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