i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
