dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
