He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize