Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
