that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
