Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I checked into jail on foursquare
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
