I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
