Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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