Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
