Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
