Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
