And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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