i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
