I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
