Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
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