we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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