my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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