she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
