I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize