i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
