btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
