That's intense
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
