Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well I just put wine in my tea
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
