So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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