That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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