The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
