Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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