i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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