apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
