I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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