I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
