Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
