I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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