Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
