Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
