So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
